Kinking the Unkinked
Published in NCCA Newsletter, Spring 2022
Counselors go through intensive training to understand their biases in helping their clients. Sex therapy is a specialized area where counselors can get more training, but this does not mean that counselors will not have clients with issues related to sexual well-being. North Carolina’s highest percentage for religious beliefs is Christianity at a whopping 77% (Pew Research Center, 2022). Evangelical Protestant follows at 35% (Pew Research Center, 2022). What this means is that there is a good chance counselors in North Carolina identify as Christian. This may affect their biases when helping clients who practice kink or are polyamorous as it could go against their religious beliefs. According to Nevard (2018), individuals in the kink community voice that there is limited access to talk therapy for them.
While counselors are human and cannot err away from having biases, addressing the benefits of those who take part in this community is important. A study conducted by Wismeijer and Van Assen (2013) found that these individuals are less neurotic and have a higher sense of well-being. Individuals in the kink community must be more trusting with their partner(s) since risk is sometimes at play as opposed to those who take part in vanilla sexual intercourse (Barker, 2013). Another way that taking part in the kink community is beneficial is that it helps those abused as children or adolescents heal from their trauma (Cascalheira, 2021). When it comes to linking kink with religious or spiritual integration, taking part in kink can increase religious and spiritual satisfaction (Carlström, 2020). Last, individuals in this community report high levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction (Strizzi et al., 2022).
Clearly, there are several benefits of taking part in this community. However, that does not mean that these individuals still do not need mental health services. Counselors can gain knowledge to help these individuals. Some ways to do this are reading literature about this population, attending workshops, and getting supervision from a sex therapist.
References
Barker, M. J. (2013). Consent is a grey area? A comparison of understandings of consent in Fifty Shades of Grey and on the BDSM blogosphere. Sexualities, 16(8), 896-914. https://doi.org /10.1177/1363460713508881
Carlström, C. (2020). Spiritual experiences and altered states of consciousness – Parallels Between BDSM and Christianity. Sexualities, 24(5-6), 749-766. https://doi.org/10.1177/1363460720964035
Cascalheira, C. J. (2021). Curative kink: Survivors of early abuse transform trauma through BDSM. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 1-31. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2021.1937599
Nevard, I. (2018). Counseling and the kink community: A thematic analysis. Counselling Sexually Diverse Clients, 49(4), 617-628. https://doi.org/10.1080/03069885.2019.1703899
Pew Research Center. (2022). Adults in North Carolina. https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/religious-landscape-study/state/north-carolina/
Strizzi, J. M., Øverup, C. S., Ciprić, A., Hald, G. M., & Træen, B. (2022). BDSM: Does it hurt or help sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and relationship closeness? Journal of Sexual Research, 59(2), 248-257. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2021.1950116
Wismeijer, A. A., & Van Assen, M. A. (2013). Psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 10(8), 1943-1952. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12192